teens

Screen Time and Brain Development: How Social Media Affects Teens

Social media comes with so many draws:  connection to others, entertainment, feeling included in the world around us, but because of their still-developing brains, adolescents and teens are at much higher risk of dealing with the negative side effects of excessive social media use. On May 23, 2023, the Surgeon General’s office released a new advisory regarding the links between extensive social media use and mental health in teenagers. The Department of Health and Human Services issued a summary of the report which you can find here. And while we all probably know, at least to a degree, that social media use can negatively impact our own mental health, the statistics about social media use in teenagers are alarming. 95% of young people report using social media regularly, and 46% say they’re on it “almost constantly.” As parents and role models in the lives of young people, it is important that we understand the consequences of social media use and help the young people in our lives understand this as well. 

TAKEAWAYS FROM THE SURGEON GENERAL’S REPORT

Concerns for brain development. At the ages of 10-19, the human brain is at a crucial time for development. Scientists argue that outside of the first four years of life, this time period is the most important for humans as we learn to make sound choices outside of our parent figures. During this time, our brains are being hardwired for the future, and it is also the time at which mental health problems such as depression and anxiety can first occur. Adolescents are forming their self-image and self-worth for the first time, so you can imagine the negative impact that highly curated, highly filtered images and videos would have on their growing brains. Frequent social media exposure has been shown to negatively impact the areas of the brain that control emotional regulation, impulse control, and regulating social behavior. It can also create high sensitivity to social punishments and rewards. Essentially, adolescent brains are learning how to function socially and how to control impulses and emotions. Because social media operates in ways that are counter to the healthy patterns of real society, the sponge-like brains of adolescents learn the patterns of social media rather than the correct, healthy ways to deal with emotions, conflict, and impulses, creating an environment in which it’s difficult to have a mentally healthy approach to life. 

Concerns for content exposure. While as parents we may work hard to filter out potentially harmful content from our children’s consumption, when they have access to social media, they have access to a wide range of harmful content. The Surgeon General’s report found that children and adolescents regularly using social media were exposed to images and videos related to self harm, suicide, and other risky behaviors that exacerbate mental health issues in teens already experiencing concerns such as anxiety and depression. Additionally, comparison driven body image issues are a huge concern. Social media is often highly filtered, with users cropping images or using AI filters to make their appearance different. When teens are exposed to this, they gain a distorted view of their own bodies and appearances. One study showed that, when asked about the impact of social media on their body image, 46% said it negatively impacted their view of themselves. This has been subsequently linked to disordered eating, anxiety, and depression in teens who aspire to be more like the images they consume. Finally, many teens report being exposed to hate speech, bullying, harassment, and predatory behaviors on social media platforms, and while you might think this would mean teens want to use social media less, they’re actually using it more and more. 

Concerns for excessive use. Social media platforms are designed to keep users online and scrolling. Algorithms are intended to show users more and more of what they engage with. Because teenagers struggle with self-regulation and impulse control, they are the perfect candidates for social media apps to create habits and even addictions in. In a nationwide survey looking at girls ages 11-15, 30% or more said they felt “addicted” to social media. And with a similar number of teens reporting that they were up past midnight using social media on a typical weekday, they’re also not getting adequate sleep. Poor or insufficient sleep is also directly related to mental wellness, meaning that as teens pour through social media feeds, being exposed to harsh images, unattainable body ideals, bullying, and other harmful content, they’re also depriving their brains of sleep, further deepening the harm caused by social media. 

WHAT CAN PARENTS AND CAREGIVERS DO.

We are not powerless in helping young people deal with the struggles of social media. In fact, we are duty-bound to protect them as best we can by doing the following:

  • Keep kids off social media if at all possible. If they’re already on it, have a conversation about these dangers and how they feel about their social media use. It may not be comfortable, but it is very necessary.

    • If you’re interested in phones for your kids that are safer alternatives to traditional smart phones, but still give them the apps they need, ability to call you in an emergency, or socialize safely with friends, check out Pinwheel phones, or Gabb Wireless phones!

  • Create a family plan for social media use and model responsible behavior. It’s really hard to ask your teen to stay off their phones during the evenings if you’re on yours. 

  • Foster in-person friendships. Teens often replace face-to-face conversations and friendships with those they’ve built online. Ask your kids if they want to meet up with friends to see a movie or do another activity, and then be willing to give them a ride. 

  • Report cyberbullying and abuse not just to the platform but also to the school if it involves a classmate, or to the proper authorities. 

  • Work with other parents to foster healthy technology use. The more families in your kids’ circles who have similar views on social media, the easier it will be for them to have healthy boundaries around the technology. 

  • Seek professional help if your teen is struggling with their mental health because of social media use. We have several professionals in Rockwall and Heath who specialize in working with teens and would love the privilege of helping your child. 


Written by Emily Taylor, Contributing Writer

Helping Teens Develop Healthy Relationships

As adults, we all remember our first boyfriend or girlfriend. Depending on how we define this type of romantic interaction, you may think about the boy who held your hand on the playground in fourth grade, or you may think of the girl you “went out with” in seventh grade, but…you never actually spoke to. For most of us, this first relationship was probably filled with a lot of “puppy love,” and we probably look back at how awkward we were, and cringe with utter embarrassment, I know I do. But the reality is, that if you have a kid between the ages of 11 and 18, they’re probably already thinking about “dating” or their classmates may be. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the average age at which teens start dating is 12.5 for girls and 13.5 for boys. Dating and romantic relationships will happen, and it is a natural part of kids growing up and gaining more independence. So, as a parent, what are the things you need to know to keep your teen safe,  both physically and emotionally, as they enter a phase of life where they’re interacting with their peers romantically? 

HOW TO ENTER RELATIONSHIPS

Before your child starts dating, talk as a family about the rules and expectations.
Rules, restrictions, boundaries, expectations. Whatever verbiage you use as a family, it is important that before your child enters a romantic relationship, they know what you expect from them, and the consequences if they break these boundaries. For example, maybe you want there to always be an adult present when your teen is with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Make this expectation clear, and then be willing to be the adult present. Give your child the resources they need to be in a relationship within your boundaries. 

Model and openly discuss how they should be treated in a relationship as well as how they should treat the other person. This is such an easy yet important thing to do. It can be as simple as making a point of when your spouse treats you the way you want your child to be treated. Statements like, “I love that your dad knew I had a bad day and brought home flowers. He really understands that receiving gifts is my love language, and it made me feel so valued,” or, “Your mom is such a great listener. I’ve always valued that she really hears what I have to say and helps me work through things” shows your child what they should value in a partner and reinforces that strong relationships are built on trust and respect.

Work to get to know the person your child is interested in dating. Rather than the Hollywood-ized version of teen dating in which parents are cold or even unkind to their child’s boyfriend or girlfriend (though boyfriends seem to get the brunt of this fictitious rage) ask your child questions about the person they’re “talking to.” What are their interests? What is their family life like? What do they participate in at school? If you feel comfortable, invite them along for a family outing like to church or the movies. This can take away the secrecy that teen romances often operate in and it shows your child that they’re not bad kids for dating, so long as they respect the boundaries your family has in place. 

SAFETY IN RELATIONSHIPS

It may seem uncomfortable to talk with your pre-teen or teenager about physical safety in relationships, but the reality is that one in four adolescents report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual violence each year. Just as with adults, these incidents have long-lasting negative impacts. None of us want our children to go through this. It’s scary to think about, but know that you can empower your child to have safe, healthy relationships now and in the future.

Keep open communication with your child. By setting a strong foundation of communication between you and your child, you can make sure that any time they are uncomfortable, they know they can come to you without judgment or accusation. This may be the first and best step you can take to keeping your child safe in many situations, but especially in dating.

Help your child know how to communicate in a healthy relationship. By the time our children reach dating age, they should have seen, from us, how to talk to and interact with someone, even in conflict. Modeling this for kids at an early age can help them identify and disengage from unhealthy conflict when they see it in their own relationships. 

Know the warning signs of relational abuse. Again this isn’t something as parents that we ever want to think about, but it is so important to know what to look for as your child starts to have relationships with people outside of your family unit, whether these are friends or boyfriends and girlfriends. If your teen is withdrawn from their normal activities, is abandoning other friendships, keeping secrets, or becomes defensive about their romantic relationship, it may be time to have a conversation about the relationship. 

Seek professional help if needed. If your child has experienced a negative relationship in any way, it can be incredibly helpful to reach out to a counselor to help them process what they’ve gone through and learn how to have healthier relationships in the future. 

The dating world is so different today than it was even just ten years ago. The access young people have to smartphones, the internet, and a thousand different secrecy driven apps may make you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle when it comes to your teenager’s dating life. It doesn’t have to feel this way. Truly. Start early talking with your kids about dating relationships, respect, healthy communication, and boundaries, and you will be setting them up for a successful dating life that they feel comfortable talking with you about. If you feel you or your teen need help with any of these things, check out our link below to find a counselor that can give you and your kids tools for safe, healthy dating.


By Emily Taylor, Contributing Writer